Good Thing I'm Not Vain

While there's no way to win the non-competitive Tour de Cure diabetes fundraiser, I think most would agree being whisked away in an ambulance on mile 16 of 50 constitutes defeat.

On Sunday, after a PowerBar and banana, I ate pavement. An ambulance was coming at my cycling group, causing the rider in front me to brake unexpectedly. Drafting directly behind him, I was unable to avoid a collision. Our wheels locked and I was thrown off my bike into traffic on Highway 29. Luckily, my pops had my back and stopped the approaching big rig from finishing me off. In a bizarre twist, the ambulance, which caused the problem also availed itself as the solution. The EMTs saw the whole thing and were promptly on the scene, instructing me to hold the detached skin to my face while they drove me to the hospital.

I ended up with 19 stitches and a few fractured teeth. My bike took no real damage, though it remains covered in blood. I figure it'll go away on its own with time.

Now, you might expect me to walk away from this near-death experience with a renewed sense of "carpe diem" or perhaps awe at the fragility of life and randomness of death. Poppycock. It'd be analogous to all the recent grads who told me to "enjoy my last semester" and offered no practical advice for doing so. "Enjoy your youth" is sage wisdom I often get from folks in their fifties. Great. Fantastic. Thanks for reminding me of how quickly these years of virility pass and for subtly pointing out there's no way to slow Mother Time's advance.

I'd be a hypocrite if I implored you to "live each moment to its fullest" (or offered some other platitude). I leave you instead with a bit of levity.